Author: Larry French

He Gets It: Positive Cycle of a Healthy Marriage Larry L French, MA

Forsaking all others and cleave … to your wife
“Love God with all … and love your neighbor as yourself”
This kind of love will only happen by the help of the Holy Spirit. Because we are by nature self-center and selfish, prayer and
seeking God is the only way we can make this happen for
the long run; cultivating caring “behaviors” for life.

Our #1 neighbor &
priority is our spouse

The role of the husband is revealed and defined in the Bible.
Husbands love your wife as Christ loved the Church and gave
himself up for it. (Eph 5:25-28) (Willing to sacrifice for wife …)
2) Husbands live with your wives in an understanding way ... )
(I Peter 3:7) (Really listen to her with your ears and heart …)
3) Husbands love your wife and avoid any bitterness. (Col 3:19)
(Don’t let bitterness harden your heart …)
With “position and leadership” comes responsibility!

We must protect our wives from our own brokenness! Husbands must have a “servant leader’s heart.”
Learn about her strengths & weaknesses.
Be supportive and nurturing in those areas that are important to her.

The cycle starts here

Husband’s role is to be the protector and lover.

She will reflect how proud she is of him and that he is indeed a good “protector”.

He feels valued and appreciated.

Protection = Love

Examples of loving:
Spiritual leader : Moral Compass for the home
Value her input and make decisions as a team
Sensitive to wife’s fears
Managing money well
Being a good parent
Keeping things in good repair ( i.e. car, house)
Good boundaries & no porn
Good mental health—get help Self care— health

This helps to fuel and energize the husband to do an even better job at loving.

The husband needs to listen & be with his wife in an understanding way.

She wants to be supportive and is affirming of her husband.

Generally, men are physically bigger and stronger. Women appreciate a man being a gentleman, thoughtful, kind and polite; to let women go first, to open doors and in general just being thoughtful & courteous.

Once he understands, he must become proactive to protect.

Application
1) To show that you are serious about changing, make a list of all the issues you can remember your partner saying you need to take care of or do differently.
2) Review your list with your spouse and ask “have I missed anything?” Add any other issues to your list.
3) Take the list and develop a plan of action. Have a men’s support & accountability network to implement these changes.

She feel much more responsive sexually.

She wants to be close and vulnerable.

Wife feels valued and safe.

Ish 32:2 Man is a shelter & refuge

Wives are responders—when she senses that he has her best interest in mind and that he is careful to put her spiritual, physical and psychological needs as a high priority, then ...

Copyright © 2005 Larry L. French, MA