Author: Larry

Self-Worth Mating Rating Developed by Larry L. French, MA, LPC, LMFT

SELF-ESTEEM

SELF-ACTUALIZED REALIZES ONE’S FULL PERSONAL POTENTIAL; TO BE FULLY ALIVE AND A FORCE FOR GOOD	10
COMPETENCE / HAVING AN AWARENESS OF, AND EFFECTIVELY UTILIZES THEIR GIFTS AND STRENGTHS	9
ASSERTIVE / EXCELLENT SELF-CARE SKILLS AND ABLITY TO LISTEN TO THE DEEPER MEANING OF THE EMOTIONS	8
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION / UNDERSTANDS EMOTIONS AND APPROPRIATE EXPRESSION OF EMOTIONAL NEEDS	7
INTERNAL CONFIDENCE / KNOWS AND APPRECIATES INTERNAL RESOURCES	6
CONGRUENT INTERNALLY / AWARE OF PERSONAL VALUES AND LIVES / CONGRENTLY WITH THOSE VALUES	5
AWARE OF EMOTIONS / KNOWS WHAT ONE IS FEELING AND HOW TO USE EMOTIONS AS A RESOURCE FOR LIVING	4
PASSIVE IN RELATIONSHIPS / FEELS INADEQUATE IN RELATION TO OTHERS AND TENDS TO GO ALONG TO GET ALONG	3
REPRESS EMOTONS / VERY LITTLE AWARENESS OF SELF AND EMOTIONS. LACK OF KNOWING ONE’S SELF AND SELF-CARE	2
MINIMUAL AWARENESS OF SELF / FOLLOWS THE MODELING TAUGHT EARLY IN LIFE / IN ORDER TO SURVIVE / IN ORDER TO SURVIVE SUR	1

PARTNER 1

PARTNER 2

10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1

10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1

For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. Romans 12:3 ESV
SELF-WORTH OR SELF-ESTEEM IS A BIG FACTOR IN HOW SUCCESSFUL WE ARE IN LIFE. KNOWING OURSELVES AND OUR POTENTIAL IS SO IMPORTANT IN FEELING FULFILLED IN LIFE. We are generally attracted to someone with about the same level of self-worth or sense of self.
If someone has low self-worth, say about a 2 or a 3, they are generally drawn to someone that is also at a 2 or 3. Unfortunately, when two people feel inadequate and have poor relational skills, they then tend to see the faults in their partner. Seeing the faults and having poor communication skills often results in two people being critical of each other. This results in both partners being wounded and self-worth being diminished.

Most people that are around a level 7 or 8 are not drawn to someone at a 2 or 3. Consciously and subconsciously, both levels sense when they are in a compatible relationship (or not).
Also noteworthy, is the fact that when two people are drawn to each other and, for instance, their self-esteem is in the area of 3 or so, when the two people in the relationship have children, the two “threes” generally do not add together and produce children that are at a level 6. The children live out what they see modeled and are at about the same level as the parents; a 3 also.

Copyright © 2018 by Larry L. French, MA